Godly Parents Water - everyone needs it everyday - not just one glass but several right through the day. We have a water fountain at the back of this sanctuary. How many of you have never used it? Never took a drink from it at all? All of us need water. Animals as well. And it has been used to train them. Arabian horses go through rigorous training in the deserts of the Middle East. The trainers require absolute obedience from the horses, and test them to see if they are completely trained. The final test is almost beyond the endurance of any living thing. The trainers force the horses to do without water for many days. Then he turns them loose and of course they start running toward the water, but just as they get to the edge, ready to plunge in and drink, the trainer blows his whistle. The horses who have been completely trained and who have learned perfect obedience, stop. They turn around and come pacing back to the trainer. They stand there quivering, wanting water, but they wait in perfect obedience. When the trainer is sure that he has their obedience he gives them a signal to go back to drink. Now this may be severe but when you are on the trackless desert of Arabia and your life is entrusted to a horse, you had better have a trained obedient horse. Mankind is by nature disobedient. Observe a toddler. He wants his own ways most of the time. Tell him to do something and he will end up with something else. Mum said "don't touch the kettle." Know what happens next. "Aiiiiiiii " the little boy cried as he felt the pain of being burnt. He is by nature disobedient and need to be trained to be obedient. Like Arabian horses children need to be trained in this discipline. This is why the apostle Paul needs to remind…. EPH 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. There would have been no need for this command if children are by nature obedient. But they are not. PR 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother A child left to himself will grow up in his basic instincts which are snful in nature. This is why children need to be properly discipled by their parents. They need to be taught the word of God from as young an age as possible. PR 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. All of us have been trained in social behaviours. This is in accordance to the culture that we are in. Go to a different country and you will have to adapt. Even within a country there is different social expectations. For example, the culture of a Chinese church and an English one is different. When I minister I have to assess within the first five minutes the cultural temperature of that congregation and adapt my message accordingly. Not to do so would be self centredness on my part. My ministry will fail miserably too. All of us in our untrained instincts are no better than animals. We have not adapted to social expectations. In that instinct we will act in accordance to what we think is right. We do not know the laws of the nation which are often based on the Word of God. We would not be able to distinguish between right and wrong. Children who are not trained would be that way. They would indeed bring embarrassment to their parents. This is the reason why a child must obey his parents. Also, God has made them His deputy on earth. A deputy is empowered with the same authority as the actual person. For example, a policeman is a representative of the government - he has been granted power by the Minister of Home Affairs to act. In the same way, parents are granted power by God to act on His behalf. To disobey parents therefore is to disobey God. To disobey God is sin. Every conscientious parent recognizes how difficult it is to exercise his God-given authority over his children. The delicate balance of being tough yet tender is not easy to maintain. Many parents intensify a rebellious spirit by being dictatorial and harsh. Others yield when their authority is tested. When a strong-willed child resists, the pressure to give in for the sake of peace and harmony can become overpowering. I am reminded of a mother who wanted to have the last word but couldn't handle the hassle that resulted whenever she said no to her young son. After an especially trying day, she finally flung up her hands and shouted, "All right, Billy, do whatever you want! Now let me see you disobey THAT!" Parents have eaten more salt than their children. Pains, hurts, joy - whatever we can think of life, they have gone through more. So, it is only wise for children to obey and heed the advice of parents. When children think that they know best for themselves and do not consult their parents in their decisions it is almost like teaching their grandparents to suck eggs. Not being obedient would be to say that we know better - it is pride. Sometimes younger generations would say - the older ones are out of date - they are not flowing with the time. Oh, no need to listen to them. They are getting senile as well. Really? There is one thing that the older generation has held to which is more precious than a lot of other things. Theirs is a generation that held to absolute truth. Theirs was a generation that said "in God we trust." The generation of today says that there is nothing such as absolute truth. What I experience and what I think is truth to me. In such thinking, the Bible is discarded and is no longer held on to as the absolute truth. So, when the young generation says that the older generation is getting outdated they are also saying that absolute truth can be thrown away. They are saying that the Bible is no longer relevant to life. However, we know that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever more. What is mentioned in the Bible is relevant yesterday, today and forevermore. God's Word has never changed and will never change. Let us take an example. To say that practicing sexual abstinence until after marriage is old fashioned is a challenge against God's Word - so, for society to bow down to such a demand would be to say that God's absolutes have changed with time. This is nonsense - Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever more. I am even amazed that some parents who used to be conservative in the past would even allow their son's girlfriend or their daughter's boyfriend to stay overnight and share the same room - to say that nothing takes place behind closed doors would be just an excuse - you mean these people have no sexual urge - they are some form of super human beings. So, though the world has become post modernist is no excuse Just as the horses in the middle of a desert need to obey their riders, children in the desert of this life need to obey their parents. In the middle of the desert, one is exposed to the dangers of the heat of the day, the cold of the night, gusty winds and sandstorms and the likes. Horses and riders must work together for them to survive. For families to withstand the onslaught of the enemies of our souls, children and parents must work together to fight the ploys of the devil. Note that the verse is EPH 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. It just did not say "children, obey your parents." But it says "children, obey your parents in the Lord." Parents in the Lord. Godly parents. Those who are walking the ways of God. Those whose advice to their children are godly. Those who would guide their children in godly ways. This is why when the apostle Paul turned to speak to the heads of the household - fathers - he said EPH 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. To exasperate is to make extremely angry. A father wanted to illustrate to his son the difference between "anger" and "exasperation." He looked up the phone number of a pompous fellow commuter whom he knew only by name and reputation, and he dialed the number. When the call was answered by the man, the father asked, "Is Adolph there?" "There's no Adolph here. Why don't you get the right number before bothering people this hour of the night?" roared the man on the other end. "Now that," said the father when he put down the phone, "was simply annoyance. We'll wait a few minutes, and then you'll hear something else." After a decent interval, the father dialed the same number and again asked, "Is Adolph there?" This time the other party literally screamed into the phone, "What's the matter with you, are you crazy? I told you to look up the number and stop bothering me!" Whereupon the receiver at the other end was slammed down. "Now that fellow was angry," said the father. "In a few minutes I will show you what I mean by exasperation compared to anger." After 15 minutes or so, the father dialed the same number for the third time, and when the same man answered at the other end, the father said almost cheerily, "Hello, this is Adolph. Have there been any messages for me during the past half hour or so?" That is exasperation. Fathers exasperate their children when they ask without reasoning - without explaining the whys. One favourite question of children is why. In telling them why we are also teaching them. Mere asking becomes mere commands. Things just have to be obeyed blindly because fathers have the authority to ask - that is indeed going overboard.. Even adults will rebel if they are told to do something without understanding the whys. Fathers exasperate their children when they are self-centred and do not have the best interest of their children in their hearts. In the olden days, it was customary for fathers to ask their children to help them in their business. Well and good if their children are trained and with the objective of taking over at a later stage. Well and good if a good salary is given to them. After all, if children are at an age to be able to help, they should be able to take care of themselves with a fair wage. I am glad that my father was a wise man who decided to leave us to our own decision. His philosophy was that education was the best policy for his children and that we be given a proper footing to start off with life. So, all of us are well educated and he saw to help us till the stage when we got married - we are then considered independent and be on our own. However, not all parents are that way. 18 year old Adrienne sat across her pastor's office desk with her head bowed. She was clearly disturbed. Her pastor came over to her side of the table, sat down and asked "yes, what is it that I can help you with?" Adrienne, choked in her voice said "I have been raped." Her pastor stunned did not know what to say at first. Then he asked "you know your attacker?' "yes" she said. After a long moment of silence when both parties did not know what to say, Adrienne continued "my father." This time, the man of God was himself choked. He did not know how to respond … what to say. She continued "it is not the first time. It has been taking place over the last five months. I don't know who to turn to." As she was speaking, the pastor out of the corner of his eyes noticed some scar marks on the wrist of Adrienne's left wrist. "Did you tell your mother?" he asked. "yes, but she would not believe me." Don't be shocked by it. This is not the only case as well. We as pastors have come across so many cases that we know what the bondage of sin is all about. Fathers exasperate their children when they treat their sons as cheap labourers and their daughters as sources to gratify their sexual cravings. Fathers exasperate their children when their behaviors are ungodly and when their demands are also ungodly. Fathers including mothers therefore need to work on their own spirituality if they want their children to grow up to be people whom they can be proud of. Not to do so would lead to the exasperation of their children. When children are exasperated do not blame them if they do not obey. Children do not take this as an excuse not to obey. Though we should not obey when the requests are ungodly, we should nevertheless honour our parents. 2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." No matter what our parents may be like, they are our parents any way.. God has given them to us as our parents. To dismiss them and disrespect them would be to say to God that He is unfair - that He has made a terrible mistake - that He should have given us another set of parents. It is to disrespect God Himself. To love God would require that we love our parents. What if we have ungodly parents? Pray for them - what else? Pray that they will know God and that God will transform them to be like Jesus. What if parents are Christian and yet their behaviours are far from what the Bible says? Pray for them - they will grow to be like Jesus. The trouble whenever we encounter difficulties in relationships is to grumble and complain. What we should do is to pray for the other person. If all of us will just do that, life would indeed be sweeter and better. All relationships have responsibilities both ways. Parents are to be godly. Their lives are to be Christ-centred. Children are to obey and honour their parents. In our fallen human nature no relationship is possible. Jesus through his sacrificial death on the Cross has however reconciled Man to God, husbands to wives, children to parents, workers to bosses and followers to leaders. It is through strong relationships that a strong community is possible. And it is through a strong community that individual relationships are strengthened. After all, wouldn't it be wonderful when a mother in having difficulties with her child can call up a sister in the church to seek counsel. Wouldn't it be wonderful if a husband when having difficulties with his wife can ask a brother to pray for him? Wouldn't it be wonderful if a worker when having difficulties with his boss can ask his CG to pray? A strong community is only possible when we have strong relationships within the church. Strong relationships can only be possible if Jesus is at the centre of that relationship. A strong community comprising strong relationships is only possible when Jesus is the head of the community. So, bring Jesus into all your relationships.

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